Welcome to where the Crazy people write!

My Lyric Table

Fri, 13 Jul 2007 03:43:38 GMT

001.	Now I'm strong and I won't kneel (except to thank who's watching over me)	002.	He's got no one to talk to and tears rolling down his face	003.	Somewhere just beyond my reach, someone's reaching back for	004.	Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apar	005.	I know you just don't care
006.	I must've dreamed a million dreams, been haunted by a million screams	007.	I don't know if I can face it again	008.	I'm trying to find my way back home	009.	You broke your children for life	010.	I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
011.	You can close your eyes, it's all right	012.	You broke the boy in me, but you won't break the man	013.	Surrounded by a million people I still feel all alone	014.	You're just a child with a temper	015.	I was born the day you kissed me; I died inside the night you left me
016.	I'm nobody that you ever wanna be	017.	Drowning deep in my sea of loathing Broken your servant I kneel	018.	...you're a reject And you're no one And you're nothing Little impotent one	019.	Cold hearted orb that rules the night	020.	The hurt doesn't show; but the pain still grows It's no stranger to you or me
021.	So you can wipe off the grin, I know where you've been	022.	Blame it all on my roots, I showed up in boots, and ruined your black tie affair	023.	He's headin' back from somewhere That he never should have been	024.	We go dancing nightly in the attic While the moon is rising in the sky	025.	Every damn time I walk through that door, its the same damn thing That bitch bends over, and I forget my name - ow!
026.	Everybody knew you used me, but I was just too blind to see	027.	You taped our sexy conversations and you sold em to the BBC	028.	When I'm in your chains It's understood	029.	I'm out the back door just before midnight, I push the pedal to the floor---I run away	030.	And I didn't need to see his face... Cause I saw yours, I saw red and then I closed the door
031.	Ya know I might be young but I'm not naive, ya see	032.	But I Guess I Was Wrong	033.	I can't get used to missing you	034.	Left by my father with only this scar on my face	035.	And as I turned to make my way back home The snow turned into rain --
036.	Met my old lover in the grocery store, The snow was falling Christmas eve	037.	To sail on a dream on a crystal clear ocean	038.	Shape shift nose to the wind Shape shift feeling Ive been Move swift all senses clean	039.	I like the way you still say please While you're looking up at me	040.	Where can you run to escape from yourself?
041.	I'm just a notch in your bedpost but you're just a line in a song	042.	Don't scream anymore, my love, cause all I want is you	043.	I'm going to the place where love and feeling good don't ever cost a thing	044.	I don't want to know the lover at my door is just another heartache on my list	045.	How you turn my world, you precious thing, I move the stars for no one. Everything I've done I've done for you
046.	We're much too young and life's so big	047.	Wish for me, I'll come running to save you	048.	Whoever finds this, I love you! Whoever finds this, I need you! I don't even have no one to talk to. So, whoever finds this, I love you!	049.	Pour me a drink and I'll tell you some lies	050.	After all these tears between us

Fic: "It's a Kind of Magic" (BSB/HL Crossover, Rated R)

Thu, 28 Sep 2006 21:58:03 GMT

Title: It's a Kind of Magic
Fandom: Backstreet Boys
Characters: AJ McLean, Nick Carter, Kevin Richardson, and an OFC (a female Immortal)
Prompt: 001 Beginnings
Word Count: 877
Rating: R for pottymouths
Author's Notes: Written for the Fanfic100. I don't know the boys but I sure wish I did. This story is so totally not true. Written for fun only. On a recent episode of MTV's Cribs, we saw that AJ likes swords... it got me thinking *snickers*

Sitting up slowly, AJ shook his head and immediately regretted the action.

"It's about time you woke up... I was beginning to worry that my informant had erred. Nice to see my faith in her is justified."

AJ carefully climbed to his feet and rubbed the heel of his hand against his chest, trying to remember what had just happened. He remembered walking out of the club, desperate for some fresh air. He remembered leaning against the wall just inside the alleyway and a sharp burning pain in his chest like someone had shoved an... He looked at the man standing across from him. "Did you... you fucking stabbed me..." he rubbed his hand against his chest again but felt no pain. He glanced down and saw a partly dried bloodstain on his shirt. "Didn't you?"

The man smiled, his eyes wide and bright with amusement. "Why, yes... I did stab you. It was a great deal of fun. As a matter of fact, I think I'll do it again."

AJ scrambled back as he watched his assailant draw a sword from under his coat.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin rubbed the back of his neck, a frown crossing his brow. Reaching out, he touched Nick on the arm. Leaning closer, he spoke directly into Nick's ear. "Where's AJ?"

Nick glanced around the club, then shook his head and shrugged. "Last time I saw him, he was dancing with that little redhead."

"We need to find him... something's wrong. Check the men's room, and I'll check VIP. If you don't find him, head for the door, I'll meet you there."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The man drew back his sword preparing to swing. AJ watched as he froze and the man's eyes lost focus for just a moment, just as AJ felt a tingle run up his spine. In the brief silence, AJ could hear a quiet tap-tap-tap. He glanced toward the alley mouth the same time as his assailant.

A young woman stood there, naked steel in her hand. She gently tapped the blade against the leather glove covering her free hand, a smirk playing across her lips. "Now, now, Sebastian. This hardly looks like a fair fight. He's a babe, and an unarmed babe at that."

"Bugger off, Malone. He's mine. You know the rules," Sebastian snarled.

She smiled and rolled her eyes, taking a couple steps closer. "Yes, yes, I know the rules. No immortal can interfere in another immortal's challenge. Yawn. There's only one or two small problems with that."

Sebastian lowered his sword and turned to face his new opponent. "Yeah? Why don't you enlighten me?"

"I'd be delighted," she replied. "Number one, I don't recall hearing you issue a challenge."

"Fine..." the man turned to face AJ again. "I am Sebastian St John and I hereby challenge you to a duel to the death." He glanced towards Malone. "Are you happy now?"

"Almost," she grinned. "There's just one more thing."

He sighed in frustration. "And that is?"

"I cheat."

AJ looked back towards the woman as he heard Sebastian whisper, "You bitch." His eyes widened as he took in the sawed off shotgun cradled in her hands. He didn't know what she'd done with her sword, but in the long run, he supposed it didn't really matter.

"Take off, Sebastian, and I'll let you live." She smirked. "You know... live, grow stronger... fight another day."

Growling in anger, Sebastian slipped his sword back under his coat. "You're going to regret this, Malone."

"Yes, yes, I know. I'll rue the day. Run along now, before I put many little holes in that nice leather coat." She snickered. "If you happen to run into Kronos, and live, ask him how many coats of his I've ruined. It's one of my favorite hobbies. Now take off."

Sebastian looked back at AJ. "You'll be seeing me again."

"I don't doubt that, but next time he'll take your head. Now fuck off and stop bothering him!" She fired the shotgun into the air and quickly ejected the shell, reloading it. She leveled it at Sebastian.

"FUCK!" he shouted then turned and ran down the alleyway.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nick flinched as he stepped out of the club, the sound of the blast far too close for comfort. "What the fuck?!" He broke into a run, chasing after Kevin as the older man sprinted towards the alleyway.

Kevin skidded to a halt in the mouth of the alley and took in the scene in front of him. "AJ? You okay?"

Glancing up, AJ smiled shakily and nodded his head. "Kevin," he sighed tiredly and moved towards the taller man. He leaned into Kevin's chest, relaxing as he felt Kevin's arms around him. He closed his eyes, feeling safe at last as he felt Nick's embrace join Kevin's. "Kaos..."

Looking over AJ's head, Kevin watched the young woman straighten her jacket, brushing off the sleeves. "And you are?"

AJ pushed back from Kevin and shook his head. "Sorry... This is Josephine Malone... she saved my life."

She smiled warmly and extended her hand towards Kevin. "My friends call me Joey and he's exaggerating a bit."

"No, I'm not! There was this asshole with a sword and he stabbed me! See?" AJ tugged on his tshirt. "I got blood on me and everything. And Joey ran him off with a shotgun!"

Kevin reached out and shook her hand. "Kevin Richardson, and if what AJ says is true, I owe you more than I can ever repay."

Slipping an arm around AJ's waist, Nick held out his hand. "I'm Nick... and what Kev said goes for me, too."

"Seriously, boys. It was nothing to make a big fuss about. I just happened by and decided to stick my nose into it... one of these days, that tendency is gonna get me killed."

"OK, you may think it's nothing, but we don't," AJ disagreed. "Will you come back to the hotel with us? Let me buy you dinner? A car? Maybe a house? Or at least," AJ paused, then continued. "At least, come back with me and help me... figure this out?"

Joey studied the young man in front of her. She watched as Kevin stepped up to AJ's side and slipped his arm around AJ's waist, sharing the space with Nick, the two supporting, comforting, the one.

"Please," AJ whispered.

Slowly nodding, Joey agreed. "Alright. At least for tonight."

TBC...

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 21:34:18 GMT

Title: Untitled
Author: Dallas
Fandom: BSB
Pairing: Kevin/AJ
Rating: R for language
Challenge: Bayou challenged me to write a Kevin/AJ darkfic where AJ never went to rehab. I hope this works. It's about as dark as I can get without death being involved.
Disclaimer: Don't know them, have met them, doubt this ever happened. No harm intended, no money made.

"Hello?"

"Kevin?"

"Brian? Cuz, it's 1:30 in the morning... Why are you..." Kevin paused, groaning. "Brian, no... Dammit, no!"

"Please, Kevin... You're the only one that can get through to him when he gets like this."

Kevin closed his eyes and tried to block out the desperation in Brian's voice. He sighed. "Brian, come on. I can't... you know what happened with me and... I can't keep--"

"You know I wouldn't ask if I thought anyone else could help him, Kevin. He doesn't listen to me... says I preach at him. Nick's too close to following him down the same path, and Howie's with his family. And... like it or not, AJ listens to you... and, he's right there in town."

Sitting up on the edge of his bed, Kevin scrubbed his free hand through his hair. "Here in Louisville? What the hell? Alright... you got a clue for me? Where I should start looking?"

"He just called me from The Connection. I looked it up... it's the one on South Floyd Street."

Kevin frowned. "The Connection? What the hell's he doing at The Connection? And don't take this the wrong way, Brian, but why did he call you? You're in Atlanta."

"I don't think he's sober enough to remember that. The phone woke Leighanne up... he asked her if 'Brother Brian' wanted to come take a walk on the wild side with his favorite fallen angel."

"Dammitall, AJ... Ok. I'll go get him."

"Thanks, Kevin. Give me a call when you get him home, k?"

"Will do... Night, Brian."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walking into the club, Kevin paused at the top of the steps leading down to the dance floor. He let his gaze slide across the sea of bodies on the floor, both clothed and shirtless, and mostly male, looking for AJ's slender form. "Dammit, AJ... you could make this a little easier for me." He shook his head and walked towards the bar. He breathed a sigh of relief when he caught sight of his quarry leaning against the end of the bar. "Ask and ye shall receive," he commented quietly.

Kevin moved closer, slipping between AJ and the man standing next to him.

"Hey! Excuse me, but I was talking to him."

Kevin glanced over his shoulder at the man. "Not anymore you're not... he's with me. Hey, Aje..."

“Look, asshole—“

“Fuck off, dickless, I’m with him.” AJ pointed at Kevin and smirked. “Hey, sailor… wanna get lucky?”

“You fucking cocktease---“

AJ rolled his eyes. “Jeeze, what does it take? Just fuck off!”

“Fuck that noise, you promised me a blowjob and you’re gonna deliver!” The man reached around Kevin, grabbing for AJ’s wrist.

Kevin grabbed and twisted the man’s arm, bending his hand back and forcing him to his knees.
“Seek life elsewhere. Get me?” Gasping, the man nodded his head and Kevin released him. He turned back to AJ. “I see you’re making friends, just like usual.”

AJ grinned and shrugged. “It’s a talent.” Stepping into Kevin’s personal space, he ran a fingertip up the center of his chest. “So… you never did answer me.”

Raising an eyebrow, Kevin shook his head.. "I think I already did... I found you, right?" He slipped an arm around AJ's waist. "C'mon, babe. Let's get you home."

“Oooh, I am so getting laid tonight.” AJ giggled.

Turning, Kevin steered AJ away from the bar, automatically adjusting his grip when he felt AJ stagger. "Easy there, cowboy… one step at a time."

He leaned heavily against Kevin, his head on his shoulder. "Sorry... I'm a little fucked up."

"I know, Aje. It's okay, we'll be home soon."

AJ let Kevin guide him outside, still giggling. "How did you know I was here? I don't remember calling you... did I do it and just forget? Or are you psychic or something... it's all good, as long as it's psychic and not psycho... if you ARE psycho, though, it's all good, 'cause I'm psycho, too. Man, I'm all sorts of fucked up... but I haven't BEEN fucked lately... you wanna fuck me? It’s been so long, Kevin… I'll make it so good for you..."

Reaching his car, Kevin reached out and opened the passenger door. "In you go, Aje... let's just talk about it when we get home, okay?"

He sighed happily as he settled into the passenger seat. "Sure thing, sailor. We can talk about anything you want."

Kevin slipped into the driver's seat, fastened his seat belt and started the car. As he pulled out into traffic, he heard a faint whisper from his passenger.

"Kevin?"

He glanced at AJ. "Yeah, baby?"

"I'm so tired, Kev... it okay if I sleep now?"

"Yeah, Aje... it's okay... I'll wake you when we get home."

A tired smile barely lifted the corners of AJ's mouth as his eyes drifted shut. "Thanks, Kev… I love you.”

Stopping at a red light, Kevin leaned his forehead against the steering wheel and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “I love you, too, AJ. Just sleep… everything’s gonna be okay.”

April Fools Novel Update

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 21:37:57 GMT

4,670 / 25,000
(18.7%)

slowly but surely lol

Lex's Fic-to-order challenge: Justin/JC, PG13ish

Sun, 16 Apr 2006 20:43:14 GMT

Title: Untitled
Pairing: Justin/JC
Rating: PG-13ish?
Word count: 1,884
Authors Notes: Written for Lex’s Fic-to-order challenge… Justin wants to get back together with JC, goes to JC’s house, and sees Nick Carter leaving. Hope this is what you wanted 

"Hello?"

"Hey, babe... just calling to see what time you'd be home."

"We're almost finished here, C. Probably not more than another hour or so. Let's say seven?"

"Cool! I'll see you then. Don't be late!"

"I won't be."

"Love you, Justin."

"Love you, too, C."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pulling into the driveway, Justin winced as he glanced at the house. Not a single visible light was on. He glanced at the clock on the dashboard and shook his head. One AM... where had the time gone? He sighed. "JC's gonna kill me." He stepped out of the car, stretched and squared his shoulders. It was time to face the music. Justin tried not to worry. JC would forgive him. He always did.

Opening the front door, he stepped into the foyer. He paused, listening for any sound, any indication of JC's whereabouts and his mood. There was nothing. It was quiet, almost too quiet. "C? Babe?" There was no reply and he moved further into the house, flipping on lights as he went. "C? Where are you? C'mon, I know I'm late, but I..." Justin's voice fell silent when he turned on the light in the dining room. "Oh, hell."

The table was set with their best china, flowers arranged artfully in the center of the table, candles burnt down to nothing but dark wicks and melted wax. There was champagne sitting in a bucket of melted ice and covered dishes on the table.

"Oh, JC," Justin whispered as he took it all in. He turned suddenly and sprinted up the stairs, a cold feeling growing in his chest. He pushed open the bedroom door...no JC. He looked around the room and saw the open closet and, more importantly, the empty shelf in the closet. JC's travel bag was gone.

His shoulders slumped as the reality of the situation began to sink in and then he saw the sheet of paper lying on the bed. Afraid of what he would find, yet still hopeful, he snatched up the note.

Justin... I'm tired and I'm sorry... but I'm done. Take some time, think about what you want... when you get your priorities sorted out, call me. JC

Justin dropped the note and grabbed for his cellphone, hitting Memory #1. "Come on, JC... answer the phone!" He closed his eyes and sighed as his voice mail answered. He waited for JC's greeting to finish and then he hesitated, unsure just what to say. "JC... I... I'm sorry. JC, I love you... I fucked up, and I'm sorry. I just want you to know that. Call me when you get this... or not. I know you're mad as hell and I know I... I know what my priorities are... I guess I need to start showing you that..."Justin sighed, trying desperately to come up with just the right words. “I don’t know what else I can say, JC. I’m—I just feel lost without you.” Justin clicked the phone off and laid back on the bed

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pulling his bike to a stop in JC's driveway, Justin turned the key, silencing the motor. He set the bike on its kickstand, tugged off his helmet, and looked at the house. It had been the longest month of his life, but JC had finally agreed to let Justin come see him. After talking on the phone last night, Justin knew JC would be tinkering in his studio most of the day.

Justin climbed off the bike, grabbed his saddlebag and froze in shock, as he watched Nick Carter moving down the walk towards him.

"Hey, Timberlake," Nick smiled.

"Carter," Justin nodded to him. "What are you doing here?"

"Just heading home. Took JC out on the boat yesterday... we got back so late, he was nice enough to," Nick smirked, "invite me to stay for breakfast."

"Yeah, well, breakfast was over about five hours ago."

Raising one eyebrow, Nick shook his head. "Yeah, well," he mocked, "I've been playing with him in the studio, too... you know how he gets when he's being all creative."

"Look, Carter--"

"No, you look, Timberlake. You fucked up. JC needed a friendly distraction," Nick chuckled. "A distraction I was more than happy to provide. You don't like it? Fucking do something about it." He shook his head in amusement. "You're so cute when you're jealous." He patted Justin on the cheek, laughing as he walked away.

Justin watched him, amazed. "How does he always do that to me?" He shook his head and headed for JC's front door, determined to not let Nick bother him any more than he already had.

Justin rapped on the door, pushing it open with the same motion. “C? You home? ‘Cause if you’re not, I’ll be more than happy to have Carter busted for breaking and entering.”

Giggling, JC stepped into the foyer. “No, you won’t… and you know it.” Coming closer, JC rested one hand against Justin’s arm and leaned forward, brushing his lips against Justin’s cheek. “How are you?”

Surprised, Justin resisted the urge to touch his fingers to his cheek and he smiled. “Better, now. After seeing Carter, I wasn’t sure what was going on.”

“Nick’s my friend, Justin, and a close one at that. C’mon, let’s go sit outside. Nick insisted on dragging me out of the studio as soon as he got up this morning… silly man.” JC turned, heading for the back of the house, leaving Justin to follow.

Dropping his saddlebag to the floor, Justin followed JC outside. He stepped out on the deck, smiling to see JC stretched out in a lounge chair, a bucket filled with ice and bottles of beer sitting next to him. He stepped closer. “If we’re gonna be out here, you mind if I get comfortable? Sun’s a little warm for leather.”

Lifting his head, JC looked at Justin and grinned. “By all means, get as comfortable as you like. Just keep in mind paparazzi and low-flying aircraft.”

Laughing, Justin started stripping off clothes, his leather jacket and chaps the first to go. He walked over and laid them across the bar closest to the house a safe distance from the pool. Returning to the lounge chairs, he pulled his t-shirt off. Turning his back to JC, Justin unbuttoned the fly of his Levi’s and pushed them down off his hips, revealing swimming trunks underneath

JC raised an eyebrow. “Planned ahead, did you?”

Grinning, Justin sat down on the lounge chair next to JC and tugged his boots off and then finished removing his jeans. He shrugged. “I was hopin’… it’s a nice day and you do have a great pool.”

Shaking his head, JC reached over and grabbed a beer out of the bucket, holding it out to Justin. “Here… have a beer, kick back, relax.” After Justin accepted the beer, JC took his own advice, and leaned back, closing his eyes.

He watched JC for a moment, then cracked the seal on his beer and took a long drink. Leaning back in the chair, Justin ran the cold bottle across his forehead and sighed. He had no clue what to say, how to get the ball rolling. “JC,” he began.

“Yes, Justin?” JC replied without opening his eyes.

“I…” he sighed. “Never mind.”

“What’s on your mind, J? You came here to talk to me… I’m listening.”

Justin took another swallow of his beer and began again. “I just… I’ve missed you, C.”

JC smiled a bit wistfully. “I’ve missed you, too, J.”

Justin swung his legs over and sat on the edge, facing JC. “C, I don’t want us to be apart anymore. I hate this. Can you… can we… will you come home? Please?”

Sighing, JC sat up and folded his legs in front of him. “Justin, it’s not that easy. I love you and I would love to come home… but I’m not going to come in second in your life anymore.”

“C, I’m sorry… I told you that. I screwed up, I was wrong, I admit it---“

JC held up his hand, stopping Justin’s words. “And that wasn’t the only time something like that has happened.” JC shook his head. ‘Rockstar Justin’ was your priority and he came first… before us and before me. I can’t deal with that, Justin.”

Reaching up, Justin rubbed the back of his neck and looked back at JC. “This last month… it’s given me a lot of time to think. I love you, C. I never meant to make you feel second best or to make you think you weren’t my number 1 priority. That was never my intention. Yet, I still managed to do that very thing. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m so sorry, JC. I can’t change the past, but the future is one of infinite possibilities. I really want those possibilities to include us.”

Picking at the label on the beer bottle in his hands, JC didn’t look up as he spoke. “How do I know, Justin?”

“You’re just gonna have to trust me, JC. If you can’t trust me, “ Justin paused, considering his words. “If you can’t trust me… then there’s not much point in continuing this conversation. I want you to take this as gospel, though. If I have to choose between you and being ‘Justin Timberlake Supahstah’…” Justin reached down and pulled his cellphone out of his jeans pocket. “I’ll call Rolling Stone right now and tell them I’ve retired.”

Shaking his head, JC looked over at Justin. “You don’t have to quit, Justin. I don’t want you to. Performing is in your blood, it’s part of who you are… but maybe… just maybe… we could spend a little more quality time together? Maybe take a vacation? Go somewhere to ‘get away from it all?’”

“JC? Does that mean…you forgive me?” Justin looked at JC, the tiniest of smiles toying at the corner of his mouth. He was almost afraid to hope.’

Smiling ruefully, JC shrugged. “When have I ever been able to stay mad at you.”

His smiled broadened into a full-fledged grin. “Well, I sure hope you meant what you said about taking a vacation. Otherwise, I’m gonna look like an ass.”

JC frowned slightly in confusion. “What are you talking about, J?”

“Well,” Justin cheeks pinkened and he scrubbed a hand through his hair. “I kinda sorta took some time off… hoping you’d wanna do the same.”

“Like kinda sorta how much time off?” JC asked.

Justin grinned wider. “Like kinda sorta three weeks… but I gave them all a heads up that it might be extended.”

JC stood up and stared down at Justin. “THREE WEEKS?” Justin nodded. “Three whole weeks? Just for the two of us?” Justin nodded again. JC raised an eyebrow and smirked. “Pretty sure of yourself, don’t ya think?”

Nodding again, Justin said, “Yeah, pretty much.”

Smiling, JC reached down and stroked his fingertips across Justin’s cheek. “Cocky little bastard,” he said affectionately.

Standing, Justin curved one hand around the back of JC’s neck, burying his fingers in JC’s hair. “Maybe I am… but I’m your cocky little bastard, don’t you forget it.”

“Trust me, sweetheart. I won’t.” Leaning forward slightly, JC met Justin in a kiss.

April Fools Novel Update

Fri, 14 Apr 2006 06:25:16 GMT

4,384 / 25,000
(17.5%)

I finished my fic-to-order challenge! YES!

April Fool's Writing Challenge

Thu, 30 Mar 2006 16:52:11 GMT

Ok, here goes nothing lol...

ETA: look, an update!

2,486 / 25,000
(9.9%)

Popslash flash challenge #1: "First Time"

Fri, 10 Mar 2006 23:00:55 GMT

Title: Homesick
Fandom: Backstreet Boys
Pairing: Nick/Kevin (pre-slash)
Rating: PG-13
Author's Notes/Disclaimer: Don't know them. Wish to hell I did lol... This was written for the Popslash Flashfic challenge "First Time". Hope you like it.

Nick sighed.

Germany was supposed to be this grand adventure. They were gonna be stars, entertaining huge crowds of girls, making money, having lots of fun. Nick sighed again. So far it hadn't been much of an adventure at all.

His mom had left two days ago. He still remembered the warning she gave him before she left. "If you screw this up, don't bother coming home." He knew he couldn't go home... but more than anything, he wanted to see his brother again. He sniffled and rubbed at his nose with the back of his hand. "No crying... only babies cry," he whispered.

Curling up in the corner of the couch, he pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapped his arms around them and hid his face.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin walked into the common room and stopped in the doorway. He watched Nick rocking back and forth on the couch, curled up just as small as he could make himself. Taking a deep breath, Kevin released it slowly and moved closer to the couch. "Hey, Nick. What's up?"

"Nothin,'" Nick answered, his voice muffled by his knees.

"Nothing, huh?" He ducked his head around, trying to sneak a peek at Nick's face from between his knees. "Whatcha hidin' in there? You got a girlie mag or somethin'?"

"No!" Nick couldn't help but snicker at the idea. He lifted his head and looked at Kevin. "You're a dork."

"Maybe... maybe not. But I got you to look at me." Kevin made note of Nick's reddened eyes, but made no obvious response to it. He leaned back against the couch and rested a hand on Nick's shoulders. He had a pretty good idea what was bothering him. Homesickness hit all of them at one time or another. "Boy... this sure isn't as much fun as I thought it would be."

Nick looked at him, surprise evident on his face. "You don't think this is fun?"

"Well... some of it's fun, I'll admit that. Gettin' up on stage, singing, playing... that's a lot of fun. Getting to know my new 'brothers'... that's lots of fun, too." He paused for a moment, thinking. "Although, AJ can be a real pain in the ass."

Nick giggled.

"And tryin' new foods... that's fun."

Nick wrinkled up his nose. "You can have the new food... I'd rather eat french fries."

Kevin laughed and shook his head. "I'm tellin' ya, Nick... you should try some of the food here. It's good!"

Shaking his head, Nick declined. "I don't think so, Kevin. I'll leave that to you."

Shrugging his shoulders, Kevin just grinned and then let it dim a little. "I do miss my Mom's cooking, though. Ain't nothin' better, Nick. When we do go home, you gotta come visit. She's the best cook in the whole state of Kentucky." Kevin smirked. "Although, I better not let Brian hear me say that."

Nick looked down at his knees and started picking at some loose threads. "My mom can't cook for shit," and he shot a look at Kevin, waiting for the reprimand. When there was none, he continued. "But I do miss Aaron... a lot."

Kevin slid his arm around Nick's shoulders, pulling him a little closer. He knew Nick loved to be held, loved to be touched, but sometimes, he was a little prickly about it. He relaxed when Nick unfolded his legs and leaned into Kevin's shoulder.

"It's okay to miss him, Nick. It's okay to be homesick. We all are at one time or another. We just gotta keep going... We're gonna be famous! Our names up in lights, sell-out crowds, gold and platinum records... then if we want, we can just bring our family with us."

"That's gonna be so cool!"

"And until then, Nick... remember you got family right here. OK?"

Nick nodded and closed his eyes.

Fic: "Dead to Me" (R, AJ/Brian)

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 19:38:39 GMT

Title: Dead to Me
Rating: R
Pairing: AJ/Brian
Author's Note: Not a pairing I write very much but I think it turned out okay. :-)

"YOU'RE DEAD TO ME!!"

AJ shuddered as the words echoed once again in his head.

"NO MORE, AJ! NO MORE! DO YOU HEAR ME?? YOU ARE DEAD TO ME!"

Pulling the covers over his head, he tried to block them out, tried to block out the raw emotion he could hear in Kevin's voice. He tried desperately to bury the pain welling up from his broken heart. How had it gotten so bad? Why couldn't Kevin just leave him alone?

Throwing the covers back, he swung his legs over the edge of the bed and sat up. He cradled his head in his hands as the room swam... he needed a drink. A drink and a phone... yeah, that's it.

"You think I'm dead to you, motherfucker? Watch me now... I'm gonna be fucking Casper to you. I'm out of here. I QUIT!!" AJ yelled, ignoring the pounding in his head. "DO YOU HEAR ME, RICHARDSON! I'm GONE!"

He flipped the locks on the bedroom door, and jerked it open, heading for the minibar.

"Aje?"

The soft voice, that slight southern inflection, freezes him where he stands halfway to his goal. He was so not ready to deal with this. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before turning to face Brian.

"Hey, Brian. You heard, I'm guessing."

Easing his way through the wreckage of the hotel room door, Brian moved closer to AJ, carefully keeping clear of his personal space. "I'm pretty sure we all heard, Aje." Reaching out, Brian rested his fingertips on AJ's crossed forearms. "You okay?"

Snorting, AJ shook his head. "What do you think? My *brother* just informed me I'm dead to him... I think I'm pretty much as far from okay as I can be and still be breathing. Fuck, I need a drink," and he turned back towards the bar.

Opening the door to the minibar, AJ lifted four of the small bottles and turned back to face Brian. He held out a bottle. "Care to join me?"

Brian shook his head and AJ shrugged. "That works... just means more for me." He twisted the cap off the first little bottle and raised it to his lips. He paused, watching Brian watch him. "What? You got any ultimatums for me? Lectures? Helpful words of advice? You wanna tell me I'm dead to you too?"

Again, Brian shook his head. "Nope... I figure you've heard all the lectures and ultimatums you can stand for the day. I just have three words for you, Aje."

"Oh yeah? What are they?" AJ lifted the bottle toward his lips.

"I love you."

AJ froze, the bottle near enough for him to smell the whiskey, but not to taste. He lowered the bottle again. "You... what?"

"I love you, Aje. I never stopped."

"But... you said... Brian... NO... NO NO NO... You don't get to do this to me, Brian. No more mindfucks, no more games, no more 'I love you but I hate what you're doing'... NO!" He started to lift the bottle again.

"AJ, I'm not gonna tell you to not drink that. It'd be pointless and a waste of what time we have. I will tell you that you're stronger than you think, and I love you and miss you." Brian moved closer and rested a hand on AJ's wrist, lowering the bottle once and for all. "I want you back... I want *us* back."

He looked intently into Brian's eyes, seeing the worry and compassion... and the love. AJ dropped the bottle to the floor, lifted his hand, touching it gently to Brian's cheek. He swallowed. "I... I can't do this, Brian... I'm scared... I'm so tired of being alone. I can't do this alone."

"You're not alone, Aje... We got your back... *I've* got your back... always." Brian opened his arms to AJ, wrapping them tightly around him, welcoming him home.

Fic: "AJ's Little Ponies" (PG-13 Kevin/AJ)

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 06:08:16 GMT

Title: AJ's Little Ponies
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kevin/AJ
Author's Notes: My dearest friend K *waves to my good luck charm* has given AJ a couple of "my little ponies" after being inspired by a comment he made on VH-1. I wrote this story for her. :-)

As the bus pulled out of the parking lot, AJ walked into his home away from home and flopped down on the bed face first. "Oof...Sorry, little fella." He reached into his hoody pocket and pulled out his second little pony. "Didn't mean to squish you... hmmmm but are you a fella? You're so cute and pink!" He giggled. "Great, now I'm trying to guess the sex of my little pink pony!"

Rolling over, he sat the little pony on the bed next to him and pulled his hoody and tshirt off in one motion. Next went the shoes, kicked off the edge of the bed. AJ rolled his head side to side, loosening up tight muscles. "Yeah, that's better." He picked up the pink pony, and scooted back on the bed. Propping a pillow up behind him, he picked up his little orange pony.
"I guess I better introduce you, too. Little orange pony, this is little pink pony. Little pink pony, this is little orange pony. Now I want you two to get along, okay? No fighting, no squabbling, no nothing. I know you don't want me to go *kevin* on your little furry butts."

"You know, I was his first little pony," said Little Orange Pony.

"Yes, but I'm his second... and I'm every bit as important to him as you, so there," Pink Pony replied with a toss of her mane.

"Now look, you two... play nice! This bed's only so big, and you're sharing it with me... so no fighting. I love you both, okay?" AJ asked them. He kissed them both on their noses.

Pink Pony giggled. "He's got nice kisses... and he's right, you know. We're both from the same herd... we can keep each other company when he's not here!"

"I suppose you're right," Orange Pony grudgingly admitted with a toss of his head. Then he laughed and said, "This is a big bed... lots of room to play!"

AJ scooted down until just his head was on the pillow and he sat the little ponies on his chest. "Well, you might have to play on the nightstand tonight... it could get a little crowded..."

"Aje, who are you talking to?" Kevin asked as he pushed the bedroom door open. He paused in the doorway, an easy grin spreading over his face.

AJ froze, one little pony in each hand, and absolutely no way to hide the fact that he was playing with them. He decided to brazen it out. It's what he's best at, anyway. "ummmm, I'm talking to my little ponies. Gotta make sure they get along," he shrugged and laughed a little. He lifted little Orange Pony up in front of his face, and blew a raspberry at Kevin.

Kevin stepped further into the room, his boxerbriefs snug on his hips as he toweled off the last drops of water from his shoulders. He dropped the towel into the laundry bag and then crawled across the bed until he was laying next to AJ. He reached out his hand, stroking the nearest pony with a fingertip. "They are pretty cute," he said, choking back a giggle. Leaning closer, he pressed a kiss to AJ's lips. "Then again, so are you."

AJ sat up, an indignant look on his face. "*I* am not cute." He stood, still holding one little pony in each hand. "*I* am sex on two legs and you know it!"

Kevin took in the whole picture: AJ, barechested, indignant/pouty look on his face, a little pony in each hand, talking about being sex on two legs, and he gave up the battle. He layed back on AJ's pillow and started laughing.

Trying to stay angry, AJ just glared at Kevin laughing on his bed. A grin started playing at the corners of his mouth, however, and it soon spilled over into full laughter. "Oh, stop it. It's not THAT funny."

Getting himself under control, more or less, Kevin sat up on the edge of the bed. "Aje, it really was that funny... but you know I love you." He pressed a kiss to AJ's lips, leaned back a little and said, "Now give me the ponies and go take your shower. I promise I'll take good care of them."

"You better... because they'll tell me if you're mean to them." AJ placed the ponies gently into Kevin's large hands, trying to keep a stern look on his face, and failing miserably.

Cradling the ponies in one hand, Kevin swatted AJ on the butt with the other. "Go!"

AJ grabbed clean underwear from his suitcase and paused in the doorway. He watched as Kevin stretched out across the bed and sat the ponies on his broad chest, petting them. "Ever the caretaker, aren't you," he said softly. "I love you, Kev."

Kevin grabbed a pillow from the bed and lobbed it at AJ, without dislodging the ponies. "GO!" he laughed.

AJ scooted out the door, his laughter drifting behind him.

Welcome my friends, to the show that never ends...

Sun, 26 Feb 2006 05:56:50 GMT

well, folks... here it is...

My fanfic journal...

*looks around* wow... it's quiet over here... Hellooooooo? *listens to the echo and giggles*